OK OK so I made a few mistakes here and there... but it'll never happen again.. I promise! You believe me don't you? Actually, I'm really just here to use you to get to what I really want... tumblr! Sorry old friend, nothing personal. It's just business, you understand right?
Luann
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Sayonara
Starting a new trend (or more like joining the bandwagon) and making a switch. Sorry blogger! It's been great. :]
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Skinny Bitch
My life so far has been a relatively fast paced routine. Monday morning, I wake up and get ready for work, arrive at work at 8, remain stressed or pressured the entire time by my boss while silently taking breaks to retreat to facebook (or blogger), spend my entire day at work, and go home to stress about other issues in my life. Though I have to admit, it hasn't been too bad as I make it out to be. I do thank God every day that I have a job to complain about. If I had the power to get everyone a job I would, especially in this economic crisis.
But going off topic, the title of this blog can appear pretty blunt and ultimately it is. With my given info, with all the hectic scheduling, events, issues, and lack of time management that I strive for, it's been difficult for me to maintain a healthy intake, thus giving me the perceived image that I am overweight. I've come to accept this fact, I no longer deny it and I genuinely believe it. I started to reminisce the good ol' days, looking at pictures of the past - my cheer pictures, the awkward pictures I took for high school dances, etc. And I realized how average I looked. I've always been self-conscious with my body for as long as I can remember (ex. random boy pulling up my shirt at the jungle gym in the 2nd grade, hitting puberty at 11 and being the first out of my group of friends to start developing breasts, acquiring baby fat shortly after and my family picking on me for my "chubs") and it still occurs today with my family especially. If they notice I'm gaining weight, they will point it out.
With the influence of my family background, I feel as though I've been molded to believe that skinny = good, fat = bad. Growing up my dad would constantly make "fat" jokes whenever he'd encounter someone whom was overweight or obese, to the point where I would be offended or it just wouldn't be funny. I blame this influence on why I have a negative perception of my body.
But I absolutely LOVE food. Eating would be a hobby of mine, whether it's going out to eat and trying different restaurants, or eating junk food with a group of friends while watching a movie, or cooking together with a significant other, it's a past time for me rather than a survival tactic. But I had an epiphany the other day, when I went shopping and realized I couldn't fit my original size any more.
I cried.
How could I be overweight, I would ask myself. How could I let myself exceed my limits and extend into the realm of gluttony? I blame my busy life style, my productive and fast-paced way of living. I don't have time to eat during the designated breakfast, lunch and dinner hours, I'd tell myself. I eat when I have time and when I do, I am STARVING.
I realized it was time for change.
This year alone has been quite the year of development and progression for me. I have a full-time job (that alone has been it's own journey), school is finally falling into place, I quit smoking, and just yesterday I signed up for the gym. I realized that if I wanted to make change, I would have to take the initiative, no more wishing I was more fit, no more whining and complaining that I was a failure at life.
No more giving up on myself. If I want change, it starts with me.
And no more hoping that it'll work out because if I hope then that means there's a possibility I could fail and I no longer have patience for failure. I just want these changes to take into effect now and I'm tired of waiting for something to magically occur. My mind is set and I'm going all out.
Change starts now.
Luann
But going off topic, the title of this blog can appear pretty blunt and ultimately it is. With my given info, with all the hectic scheduling, events, issues, and lack of time management that I strive for, it's been difficult for me to maintain a healthy intake, thus giving me the perceived image that I am overweight. I've come to accept this fact, I no longer deny it and I genuinely believe it. I started to reminisce the good ol' days, looking at pictures of the past - my cheer pictures, the awkward pictures I took for high school dances, etc. And I realized how average I looked. I've always been self-conscious with my body for as long as I can remember (ex. random boy pulling up my shirt at the jungle gym in the 2nd grade, hitting puberty at 11 and being the first out of my group of friends to start developing breasts, acquiring baby fat shortly after and my family picking on me for my "chubs") and it still occurs today with my family especially. If they notice I'm gaining weight, they will point it out.
With the influence of my family background, I feel as though I've been molded to believe that skinny = good, fat = bad. Growing up my dad would constantly make "fat" jokes whenever he'd encounter someone whom was overweight or obese, to the point where I would be offended or it just wouldn't be funny. I blame this influence on why I have a negative perception of my body.
But I absolutely LOVE food. Eating would be a hobby of mine, whether it's going out to eat and trying different restaurants, or eating junk food with a group of friends while watching a movie, or cooking together with a significant other, it's a past time for me rather than a survival tactic. But I had an epiphany the other day, when I went shopping and realized I couldn't fit my original size any more.
I cried.
How could I be overweight, I would ask myself. How could I let myself exceed my limits and extend into the realm of gluttony? I blame my busy life style, my productive and fast-paced way of living. I don't have time to eat during the designated breakfast, lunch and dinner hours, I'd tell myself. I eat when I have time and when I do, I am STARVING.
I realized it was time for change.
This year alone has been quite the year of development and progression for me. I have a full-time job (that alone has been it's own journey), school is finally falling into place, I quit smoking, and just yesterday I signed up for the gym. I realized that if I wanted to make change, I would have to take the initiative, no more wishing I was more fit, no more whining and complaining that I was a failure at life.
No more giving up on myself. If I want change, it starts with me.
And no more hoping that it'll work out because if I hope then that means there's a possibility I could fail and I no longer have patience for failure. I just want these changes to take into effect now and I'm tired of waiting for something to magically occur. My mind is set and I'm going all out.
Change starts now.
Luann
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
It's Only the Beginning...
It's currently 1:26AM and I'm trying to get adjusted to the cold and gloomy weather of Washington. I'd say Seattle, WA but I'm really about 20 mins away from Seattle in a city called Federal Way. But same difference right haha. It wasn't until my boyfriend and I parted at the airport in Irvine that I truly felt alone. Once I boarded the plane I tried settling in and ended up knocking out right after take off. I left for Seattle yesterday morning around 7:00AM and landed at about 9:45AM about 15 mins earlier than I expected. I met up with the Operations director for Washington and Oregon near the baggage claim, which was quite comical because he and I stood about 10 feet away from each other, awkwardly glancing at each other every 5 mins, reluctant to find out if we were whom we both thought we were. After I saw the company sign he was holding, I quickly grabbed my bag and walked up to him, and he realized too that he knew it was me (except that I looked different with glasses on from the picture my boss sent him of me, in order for him to scope me out at the airport... who knew that the Clark Kent disguise really did work for some people). Once we stepped outside, I instantly felt the blistering cold stab my face about a hundred times, quickly realizing that I should've brought a hat or...a ski mask. After I got over the culture shock of the sudden temperature change, I started noticing the little differences in the environment. Growing up in southern California, you know that there aren't a ton of trees to go around. We have planted palm trees. And maybe some occasional tumbleweed in Chino Hills. Where I'm from, trees are definitely not the scenic focal point of tourists. Cruising down the interstate, I noticed two things instantly: the vast amount of trees on each side of the interstate and the gloomy, dark sky. The weather wasn't necessarily sad but I did feel as though I needed to be in front of a fireplace, under a warm blanket with a cup of hot chocolate.
I made small conversation with Rey, the Operations Director representing Washington and Oregon. He quickly indulged in his personal life rather quickly which I find quite odd because it's not the first time it's happened since I started working for the company. I'm not sure if it's because of the environment and atmosphere of the company (meaning, the level of comfort is fairly high) or if it's just the type of conversations that adults at the age range of about their late 30s-50s have (meaning, they pretty much love to talk about their personal lives to their co-workers because...they don't have that many friends? LOL ok it's just a thought). Not that it bothers me, but its something I'm still trying to get adjusted to. Then again this IS the first job where I'm predominantly working with co-workers whom are older than me by about 6 or 7 years at the least. From meeting all the employees in the California region, and having met a portion of the employees here in Federal Way, I can safely say that I'm the youngest employee throughout the whole company. Second to me in age would probably be some of the technicians in California that are 27 or 28, which is still a wide gap from myself. I haven't met my trainer yet though so hopefully she'll be a breath a fresh air since she's about 30 years old or so.
This being my third week at my job now, I know now that this is only a job to me. Quite frankly, I don't think little girls grow up dreaming to be receptionists. I don't even think I knew what a receptionist was until I was maybe 11 or 12. And even then, I didn't think it was the most glamorous job out there. Unless you're a receptionist for a company you WANT to work for. Like Audrina in The Hills (I KNOW, most of you hate me for even referring to that show for a comparison but it was the first thought that came to mind HAHA) she was a receptionist for Quixote Studios, a film and photo studio in L.A. and then moved into PR for Epic Records. I know it's a show, but she was working for a company that she liked! I like my job, it's nothing extremely difficult, but I know I definitely see myself somewhere else in 3 years or 4 years. Where my career path will take me, we'll just have to wait and see.
Luann
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Steps I've Been Searching For...
STEPS TO HAPPINESS:
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.
So:
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.
Then:
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.
Dare To Believe:
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.
So:
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.
Then:
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.
Dare To Believe:
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I'm Good.
This song completely describes my perspective for the 2009 year. Nothing is going to hold me back and all I can do now is move forward. At the rate things are going, I am on a steady and consistent pace towards my goal. What's my goal you ask? Well, to be the most powerful and independent woman...EVER! haha ok so not exactly because there are a couple of people that I had to depend and rely on in order for me to get to where I am right now. Thanks to my wonderful lover and best friend a.k.a the boyfriend. I don't even want to list all the things he's had to put up with because I could probably go for days. My mother has been a great support in her own way. I'm finally at a place where I'm stable. Stability...wow... I haven't been able to comfortably state that word in quite a while.
Anyway, I only have seven more minutes until I get off work... I had a great second day! =)
Anyway, I only have seven more minutes until I get off work... I had a great second day! =)
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A Femme Fatale is...
A Femme Fatale is a woman who freely expresses her individuality by displaying a sense of passion, courage and the ability to be outspoken. She is a woman who refuses to tolerate injustice and has a strong determination to fulfill her desires and the wishes of those she cares about. She is a sexy, intelligent and inspiring woman who is motivated in embracing the components of the mind, body and soul. A Femme Fatale is a representation of a woman with sex appeal that presents herself in a subtle manner, provocative, enticing yet sophisticated and lady-like in all aspects. And if all that makes her a bitch, then so be it, she merely seizes the title and is proud to bear it. In other words, she is a deadly woman who isn't afraid to kick ass.
Femme Fatale Family
Tau Theta Pi
Gamma Chapter
Femme Fatale Family
Tau Theta Pi
Gamma Chapter
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