So, um, what had happened was...

OK OK so I made a few mistakes here and there... but it'll never happen again.. I promise! You believe me don't you? Actually, I'm really just here to use you to get to what I really want... tumblr! Sorry old friend, nothing personal. It's just business, you understand right?

Luann

Sayonara

Starting a new trend (or more like joining the bandwagon) and making a switch. Sorry blogger! It's been great. :]

Skinny Bitch

My life so far has been a relatively fast paced routine. Monday morning, I wake up and get ready for work, arrive at work at 8, remain stressed or pressured the entire time by my boss while silently taking breaks to retreat to facebook (or blogger), spend my entire day at work, and go home to stress about other issues in my life. Though I have to admit, it hasn't been too bad as I make it out to be. I do thank God every day that I have a job to complain about. If I had the power to get everyone a job I would, especially in this economic crisis.



But going off topic, the title of this blog can appear pretty blunt and ultimately it is. With my given info, with all the hectic scheduling, events, issues, and lack of time management that I strive for, it's been difficult for me to maintain a healthy intake, thus giving me the perceived image that I am overweight. I've come to accept this fact, I no longer deny it and I genuinely believe it. I started to reminisce the good ol' days, looking at pictures of the past - my cheer pictures, the awkward pictures I took for high school dances, etc. And I realized how average I looked. I've always been self-conscious with my body for as long as I can remember (ex. random boy pulling up my shirt at the jungle gym in the 2nd grade, hitting puberty at 11 and being the first out of my group of friends to start developing breasts, acquiring baby fat shortly after and my family picking on me for my "chubs") and it still occurs today with my family especially. If they notice I'm gaining weight, they will point it out.



With the influence of my family background, I feel as though I've been molded to believe that skinny = good, fat = bad. Growing up my dad would constantly make "fat" jokes whenever he'd encounter someone whom was overweight or obese, to the point where I would be offended or it just wouldn't be funny. I blame this influence on why I have a negative perception of my body.

But I absolutely LOVE food. Eating would be a hobby of mine, whether it's going out to eat and trying different restaurants, or eating junk food with a group of friends while watching a movie, or cooking together with a significant other, it's a past time for me rather than a survival tactic. But I had an epiphany the other day, when I went shopping and realized I couldn't fit my original size any more.

I cried.

How could I be overweight, I would ask myself. How could I let myself exceed my limits and extend into the realm of gluttony? I blame my busy life style, my productive and fast-paced way of living. I don't have time to eat during the designated breakfast, lunch and dinner hours, I'd tell myself. I eat when I have time and when I do, I am STARVING.

I realized it was time for change.

This year alone has been quite the year of development and progression for me. I have a full-time job (that alone has been it's own journey), school is finally falling into place, I quit smoking, and just yesterday I signed up for the gym. I realized that if I wanted to make change, I would have to take the initiative, no more wishing I was more fit, no more whining and complaining that I was a failure at life.

No more giving up on myself. If I want change, it starts with me.

And no more hoping that it'll work out because if I hope then that means there's a possibility I could fail and I no longer have patience for failure. I just want these changes to take into effect now and I'm tired of waiting for something to magically occur. My mind is set and I'm going all out.

Change starts now.



Luann

It's Only the Beginning...

It's currently 1:26AM and I'm trying to get adjusted to the cold and gloomy weather of Washington. I'd say Seattle, WA but I'm really about 20 mins away from Seattle in a city called Federal Way. But same difference right haha. It wasn't until my boyfriend and I parted at the airport in Irvine that I truly felt alone. Once I boarded the plane I tried settling in and ended up knocking out right after take off. I left for Seattle yesterday morning around 7:00AM and landed at about 9:45AM about 15 mins earlier than I expected. I met up with the Operations director for Washington and Oregon near the baggage claim, which was quite comical because he and I stood about 10 feet away from each other, awkwardly glancing at each other every 5 mins, reluctant to find out if we were whom we both thought we were. After I saw the company sign he was holding, I quickly grabbed my bag and walked up to him, and he realized too that he knew it was me (except that I looked different with glasses on from the picture my boss sent him of me, in order for him to scope me out at the airport... who knew that the Clark Kent disguise really did work for some people). Once we stepped outside, I instantly felt the blistering cold stab my face about a hundred times, quickly realizing that I should've brought a hat or...a ski mask. After I got over the culture shock of the sudden temperature change, I started noticing the little differences in the environment. Growing up in southern California, you know that there aren't a ton of trees to go around. We have planted palm trees. And maybe some occasional tumbleweed in Chino Hills. Where I'm from, trees are definitely not the scenic focal point of tourists. Cruising down the interstate, I noticed two things instantly: the vast amount of trees on each side of the interstate and the gloomy, dark sky. The weather wasn't necessarily sad but I did feel as though I needed to be in front of a fireplace, under a warm blanket with a cup of hot chocolate.

I made small conversation with Rey, the Operations Director representing Washington and Oregon. He quickly indulged in his personal life rather quickly which I find quite odd because it's not the first time it's happened since I started working for the company. I'm not sure if it's because of the environment and atmosphere of the company (meaning, the level of comfort is fairly high) or if it's just the type of conversations that adults at the age range of about their late 30s-50s have (meaning, they pretty much love to talk about their personal lives to their co-workers because...they don't have that many friends? LOL ok it's just a thought). Not that it bothers me, but its something I'm still trying to get adjusted to. Then again this IS the first job where I'm predominantly working with co-workers whom are older than me by about 6 or 7 years at the least. From meeting all the employees in the California region, and having met a portion of the employees here in Federal Way, I can safely say that I'm the youngest employee throughout the whole company. Second to me in age would probably be some of the technicians in California that are 27 or 28, which is still a wide gap from myself. I haven't met my trainer yet though so hopefully she'll be a breath a fresh air since she's about 30 years old or so.

This being my third week at my job now, I know now that this is only a job to me. Quite frankly, I don't think little girls grow up dreaming to be receptionists. I don't even think I knew what a receptionist was until I was maybe 11 or 12. And even then, I didn't think it was the most glamorous job out there. Unless you're a receptionist for a company you WANT to work for. Like Audrina in The Hills (I KNOW, most of you hate me for even referring to that show for a comparison but it was the first thought that came to mind HAHA) she was a receptionist for Quixote Studios, a film and photo studio in L.A. and then moved into PR for Epic Records. I know it's a show, but she was working for a company that she liked! I like my job, it's nothing extremely difficult, but I know I definitely see myself somewhere else in 3 years or 4 years. Where my career path will take me, we'll just have to wait and see.

Luann

The Steps I've Been Searching For...

STEPS TO HAPPINESS:
You can't be all things to all people.
You can't do all things at once.
You can't do all things equally well.
You can't do all things better than everyone else.
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.
So:
You have to find out who you are, and be that.
You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
You have to learn not to compete with others,
Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.
Then:
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
You will have learned to live with your limitations.
You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.
And you'll be a most vital mortal.
Dare To Believe:
That you are a wonderful, unique person.
That you are a once-in-all-history event.
That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.
And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

I'm Good.

This song completely describes my perspective for the 2009 year. Nothing is going to hold me back and all I can do now is move forward. At the rate things are going, I am on a steady and consistent pace towards my goal. What's my goal you ask? Well, to be the most powerful and independent woman...EVER! haha ok so not exactly because there are a couple of people that I had to depend and rely on in order for me to get to where I am right now. Thanks to my wonderful lover and best friend a.k.a the boyfriend. I don't even want to list all the things he's had to put up with because I could probably go for days. My mother has been a great support in her own way. I'm finally at a place where I'm stable. Stability...wow... I haven't been able to comfortably state that word in quite a while.

Anyway, I only have seven more minutes until I get off work... I had a great second day! =)

A Femme Fatale is...

A Femme Fatale is a woman who freely expresses her individuality by displaying a sense of passion, courage and the ability to be outspoken. She is a woman who refuses to tolerate injustice and has a strong determination to fulfill her desires and the wishes of those she cares about. She is a sexy, intelligent and inspiring woman who is motivated in embracing the components of the mind, body and soul. A Femme Fatale is a representation of a woman with sex appeal that presents herself in a subtle manner, provocative, enticing yet sophisticated and lady-like in all aspects. And if all that makes her a bitch, then so be it, she merely seizes the title and is proud to bear it. In other words, she is a deadly woman who isn't afraid to kick ass.

Femme Fatale Family
Tau Theta Pi
Gamma Chapter

Farewell to the Old... In with the New!

Swiped from Steph's blog. yay something to do in between studyinggg. :)

1.Where​ did you begin​ 2008?​​​
At the milton apartment spent with my sisters and friends!

2.What was your statu​s by Valen​tine'​​​s Day?
single but still kind of attached. But pretty much single.

3.Were you in schoo​l anyti​me this year?​​​
yes, both spring and fall.


4.Did you have to go to the hospi​tal?​​​
nope or at least i don't remember if i did...


5.Did you have any encou​nters​ with the polic​e?​
yes, I got a ticket about a month ago for my registration stickers. sheesh! And there was this other time on my birthday too... eek.

6.Where​ did you go on vacat​ion?​​​
Vegas once. mhmm...that was pretty much it. =/ I need to take more vacations.


7.What did you purch​ase that was over $​​​100?​​​
I haven't made a purchase of that amount in like.. 2 years.

8.Did you know anybo​dy who got marri​ed?​​​
my cousin alana


9.Did you know anybo​dy who passe​d away?​​​
Yes, Darnell Harris. RIP.


10.Did you move anywh​ere?​​​
I moved into the Milton apartment last January so it'll have been 1 year already!


11.What sport​ing event​s did you atten​d?​​​
none.

12.What conce​rts/​​​shows​ did you go to?
Wow....I just realized that I didn't any concerts/shows this year... bleh. =/

13.Descr​ibe your birth​day:​​​
It was my 21st so I don't really remember it. :p jk I remember celebrating the moment I turned 21 at Willy's bday party (haha sorry man) and then pretty much that week I turned 21 I drank. The one that topped it off was at a club event in sevilla and Marc the pbro bought me a Gorilla Fart shot (just typing that gives me the shivers) and along with everyone else buying me drinks and pre-partying on the way there... pretty much Bev ended up carrying me out of the club. OH and I almost got arrested then too for being too belligerent and screaming my head off to the cops. =X OK so overall..a fun and memorable birthday!


14.What is the one thing​ you thoug​ht you would​ not do, but did, in 2008?​​
Roll. But if I hadn't, I wouldn't have met the love of my life. :p


15.What has been your favor​ite momen​ts?
There's way toooo many. Just to name a few would probably be EDC, Disneyland with Hourt, Marc, and Jo, OG10 Vegas trip (that in itself had a lot of moments!), sisterhood retreat, and the many random nights that I would walk out of my room and find people drinking at our apartment.


16.Any new addit​ions to your famil​y​?​​​
my cousin's husband, peter


17.What was your best month​(s)?​​​
June to August.


18.Who has been your best drink​ing buddy​?​​​
Angela, Eileen, Steph, Melissa, Bev that I can think off the top of my head.

19.Made new frien​ds?​​​
Yeah! I got to know Alpha girls a lot more...mhmm.. Spanky... new BUD pledges...

20.Favor​ite Night​s out?
Were the ones spent IN. The first half of this year was all about going out bar hopping (I went out like every week) but the 2nd half was more about chillen at our apartment and socializing with good friends.


21.Other​ than home,​​​ where​ did you spend​ most of your time?​​​
Fullerton.


22.Have you lost any frien​ds this year?​​​
Nope, I still manage to keep in touch with my real friends.


23.Chang​e your hairs​tyle?​​​
It's a lot longer compared to last year. Actually, its at the longest length it's ever been. I intend to grow it out a couple more inches and style it or maybe add some color. I just want my hair to grow out some more so all the dead hair is gone.


24.Have any car accid​ents?​​
no, thank goodness.

25.How old did you turn this year?​​​
21!

26.Do you have a New Years​ resol​ution​?​​​
I usually have like 3 or 4, but this year I'm keeping only 2. First one is to SAVE MONEY that's the BIG DEAL resolution the second is to keep my resolutions. HAHAH... I'm one of those people that says they're going to stay committed but the time Feb or March rolls around I'd forgotten what my resolutions were!


27.Do anyth​ing embar​rassi​ng?​​​
I AM embarrassing. lol

28.Buy anyth​ing new from eBay?​​​
Nope, I distanced myself from eBay a longgg time ago.


30.Get arres​ted?​​​
No

31.Been snowb​oardi​ng?​​​
Nope, but I'm planning to before the year ends I think. It'll be fun because I haven't touched snow since the 6th grade! =)


32.Did you get sick this year?​​​
I don't think so... but the year isn't over yet! *knocks on wood* I usually get deathly sick around this time.


33.Are you happy​ to see 2008 go?
yes and no. I liked 2008 but I'm ready to take 2009 head-on! I'm not so happy at the same time because I feel like I'm getting old and then I realize..AHH! I can't stop time!!


34.Been naugh​ty or nice?​​
Let's put it this way...I'm not expecting any gifts from Santa this year! hahah

I Reminisce...

I'm so grateful for the people I have in my life right now... my family, my true friends (lina bean & damaris), my SISTAUS (without you girls... I wouldn't be the strong woman I am today), the men in my life also known as my bros and my down ass GEE, my boyfriend aka my love, my heart and my soul...you all mean more to me than words can describe and I'm so honored to be a part of your lives! Throughout all the hard times, you all seem to help in lifting me up even when I'm feeling low and I thank you all so much. Those that have contributed in trying to bring me down, wished to see me fail, or were so quick to turn your back on me, I thank you too, because without all of you I would've never had that extra push to prove you all wrong. I am content with where I'm at in my life and I only strive to be a better person and do bigger and better things!

The semester is almost over, only about a couple more days left and I'm glad it's over! Only 3 more finals to finish. Good luck to all of you that have finals!

Luann

All Nighter.

It's 7AM and I've been in and out of my consciousness since sometime last night, attempting to cram for my test today. Luckily, I still have until 6PM to study some more (I really don't think I can fit any more information into my head). For the past hour though I've been back and forth about my little blogspot page, fixing it here and there. It's still pretty simple, I think. But that's just me I guess. Anyway, I've wasted enough time already. Good night!... or good morning. =)

Luann

How lucky we are.

one day we'll get out of this shitty apartment
one day is all it takes for things to turn around now
all i know is i got you and you got me babe
and when that morning comes
I'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
we'll talk about our plans and i'll keep saying how lucky we are
one day we'll get in the car and drive anywhere we wanna go
and then we'll stay in a five star mini bar luxury hotel room
cause all i'll know is i got you and you got me babe
and when that morning comes
i'll make coffee and you'll read the paper
we'll talk about our plans and i'll keep saying how lucky we are
how lucky we are...

by Meiko

This Love.

"This Love" by Maroon 5 covered by Natasha Bedingfield
i love this song! =)

Us.

This is my boyfriend and I. It's crazy knowing that only 5 months ago I didn't even know this guy neither did his existence ever cross my mind. Then a month later, he comes out of nowhere! Sometimes, I get surprised as to how this person created such a great impact on my life. Isn't it odd how one person can do that...just their very presence can suddenly change your whole perspective? It's weird too because I always dreamed of how I would meet "the one" and the way we met isn't exactly what you would call the traditional way of meeting someone. But I guess that's why I like it so much because it IS different and unique in its own aspects.
I've never felt such an urge to reciprocate the same dedication and generosity that this guy has bestowed to me. I can't really say that I've been able to be the perfect girlfriend for the past relationships I've had, but I've definitely learned from my mistakes and I guess Hourt is just reaping the benefits haha. Though through my eyes, he is perfect, I feel as though I have much to learn about him and about myself as well. I just want to be good for him and be the best girlfriend anyone girl could ever be! ...omg I'm such a sap. EWW I just read over everything that I've typed so far and ..*yuck* I guess you could say I sound a bit cheesy but I really do mean every word. I'm extremely happy. Emphasis on the word happy. It's a different kind of happy too... the kind of happy where you still get butterflies when you know that person is coming to see you even though you saw the person a couple hours before. It's the kind of happy when you see something that reminds you of that person and you giggle to yourself knowing that that other person would be laughing too. It's the kind of happy that even though everything seems to be collapsing around you, that person will be there to hold you while you're crying your eyes out. And it's the kind of happy that no one else can make you feel other than that person. I'll be honest, even though I haven't been able to spend time with him as much as I used to, I'm still supportive of what he wants to do and I'm always going to be here cheering him on. I'm your number one fan if you didn't know! And I'm so proud of you. =)

Luann

Moving Forward

I'm sitting at the library at CSUF, 4th floor, relieved that I finally finished a paper for class tonight. I say this a lot, but I hate being on campus sometimes because I'm not a student here...yet. It's kind of similar to opening a Christmas present before Christmas, like spoiling the surprise before you can enjoy it when you're...supposed to enjoy it. I hope that makes sense, because I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I feel so groggy lately. My days consist of sleeping, eating, studying, boyfriend/Taus. And then repeat. It has its pros and cons, I have all the time in the world to study and be ahead in my classes, but I'm still broke. I get depressed all over again whenever I think about my financial struggle that I keep pushing under a rug. I fear that it'll topple over one day and I'll be so deep in a hole that I won't be able to dig myself out. Or maybe I'm already so deep that I don't know it because I neglect that problem. It's difficult to keep me happy now a days, I'll be happy for a certain amount of time and then it's right back to being depressed. I'm pretty good at concealing it though I'd like to think... except not so much anymore because I just exposed myself right now. I'm so many different emotions all at the same time that I'm starting to think that I'm not ME anymore... I don't know.

My 3 month anniversary with my boyfriend is this Sunday. I'm extremely happy to have someone wonderful like him in my life. =) Then I have a Tau-filled weekend as well.

Looking forward to happier days.

Luann

Wired

It's 7:12AM and I've been up for about 24 + hours. Ok I take that back I did take a nap from 2:30-4:30AM and have been up since then cramming for a geology midterm today. My body is exhausted but I can't fall asleep so I'm confused as to what to do. Keep studying or lay down and try to take another short nap? I wasn't sure of either so I decided to take a break and post a blog. After today, I have another midterm for my online class that's due on wednesday so I'll be cramming for that tonight. Bleh, why does it feel like finals week every week?! I had two midterms last week as well, and I've just been studying like crazy since then. Oh dear, it's a little difficult to concentrate at the moment, even now as I type up this blog, because I'm so wired. Ok I'm going to try and ... be productive. Or just lay down. Which ever comes first.

Luann

3 Months and Beyond...

I tell myself Hourt and I have been together for 3 months because it seemed like we started dating the day we first met. If you've ever been to EDC then you know what I'm talking about. Or if you've ever been to a rave in general and have experienced extreme ecstasy. The anniversary present was BY FAR the best and sweetest gift I've ever gotten EVER!! Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever put on a skit about your relationship and how it developed from its early beginning to what it is now? I didn't think so!! MY BOYFRIEND DID!! It was the sweetest gesture anyone's ever done for me and while I was watching it, I couldn't help but be speechless. It was our story being told, for everyone to see and now everyone knows a lot more about him and I and it makes me extremely happy! Thank you for the wonderful show baby! I love you. =)

Luann

p.s. randy can't do my dance. :p

Fossils, Ancient Geography and Youtube

"I'm a stud!" boasts the balding hippy-like professor that I watch with little amusement from the back of the class. He's wearing a worn out and faded blue t-shirt that coincidently just happens to have a skeletal replica of a trilobite (don't ask me how I know, I'm in geology class HA) with long shorts and a hint of a stain on his right thigh. How someone can be so excited over the history of rocks, still amazes me, but more props to him to have the patience to teach this stuff. I continue to look up from time to time to make sure he thinks I'm paying attention and taking notes but little does he know of what I'm actually doing. A slight grin grows on my face as I look around at all the other students that decided to follow in David's trend of bringing a laptop to class and I watch as everyone surfs the net and pretty much not zoning out as well. I peek over at David's laptop and notice that he is watching surf videos on Youtube. I really am listening but it sounds like pig latin to me. The sequence of discussions are as follows: information RAMMED in your face and then 20 mins of tangents, more information with a mixture of tangents that are completely irrelevant and then I kind of zone out during that part. But today, I'm especially tired of listening to his voice and have succeeded in tuning him out completely for the time being. I don't appear to be conspicuous FUCK i just got the hiccups! DAMN! OK they're gone. phew.

I need a printer of my own. It was a pain in the ass to get my papers for my fossil project printed out before class. Bleh. I'm kind of looking forward to the 3 day field trip for this class to the Mojave desert. I've never camped out in a tent before so it should be exciting.

Guess I'll start listening now.

Luann

For without struggle, there is no progress.

Seriously today is just CRAPPY. Do you ever wonder why bad days occur to people that don't deserve it? Especially to those that are already stuck in a hole? Everything hit me in a domino effect today from financial issues (when is it not an issue?) to school and everything just spiraled down after that. Even the smallest things were starting to piss me off like someone not being able to get a hold me... and then I realized how selfish I was being and stopped being mad. Everything is just SO frustrating right now and I never realized how money can drastically change your moods. Meaning if you don't have any the unhappier you are, and I mean this in a way where if you USED to have money and you lost it, unlike those that never had money then they're pretty much content with their life. Thank you to those of you who understand where I'm coming from and are fully supporting me. I appreciate the words of encouragement and all the help as well. My motivation right now: I start work on Wednesday. =)

Project: SKINNY

i just got an urge to write... but I MUST save it for when I have more time to spare. I'm in my boring geology class, which I already know a certain someone will be mad at me for not paying attention in class. hahahaha Usually by the 2nd hour my mind stops functioning in this 2 hour and 15 min class.

More later.

August 13, 2008 at 2:15AM

I dug up an entry I posted on my old blog that I wanted to put up again mainly because it was the last real entry I actually sat and typed out without having to think about it, just letting my thoughts flow through my fingers...

I once had a conversation with a friend conversing about the different types of love that one may feel or experience. After debating about the topic for countless hours we came to the conclusion that there are three different types of intimate love in this world: the love of being in a relationship, the love of being in love/lust, and the longing for love.

From evaluating my past relationships, I've come to realize that I'm a person that loves being in a relationship. I don't think I plan it out to be that way but when I find myself in a partnership with a significant other I'm content with it a little more than the idea of being single. My single days had its ups and downs, the ups mainly consisting of enormous amounts of ego boosts left and right from male suitors to my downs comprising of feeling lonely on those nights when all your girlfriends were out spending time with their boyfriends. It didn't get me down too much when I felt those pangs of loneliness ideally because I wanted to be single and chose that path of solitude, or that femme fatale attitude if you will. But somehow in the midst of the wild and crazy single life, I was able to slip into a spell once again by a person that I had only spoken to once before with an exchange of few words shared beforehand. In my earlier posts I would repeatedly comment on how I was "surprised" or "still in shock" and quite frankly, though as far along it's been since the day we first met, I am still quite in shock at how much of an impact this person has affected my life. It really is thought-provoking.

My last experience ended with a bit of a bitter taste in both our mouths and though that person is a mere memory now, I still hope the best for him. But because of that bitter taste that lingered for so long, I'm left with fear, anxiety, and stress that will probably take me awhile to get completely over. So far, I've been learning to become more comfortable with myself, especially when it comes to my body image. It was hard enough to just wear a swim suit in front of my girlfriends, but now I'm able to go to the beach and walk around in just my swim suit! That's quite an achievement and those of you who've known me the longest or just know me well, KNOW that I'm self-conscious about my body. But with this person, I feel as though I can be completely comfortable and he still accepts me for ME. It's an amazing feeling really, so much that I can't really explain it even with a vast array of poetic verses or with the most difficult words you can find out of a dictionary. I've already accepted the fact that I'm falling and yes, I know it may well be too early to foresee something so powerful as falling in love with this person, yet I can't deny what I'm feeling inside. I debated with myself about it for quite some time thinking, "well what if it isn't love and it's just a deep feeling of lust?" My only answer to this was that I consider lust to be something external primarily... you only like what you see. But when the lust has finally worn off and you start to notice the good, the bad, but most of all the hideous, that make up who he is, then you can finally come to the conclusion that this person is not perfect but far from the perfectly flawless dream that you've sought for because he's much more than all of that...he's perfectly flawed. You start to not only like the external but you end up falling for what's internal, the part that you don't always get a glimpse of but when you are able to, it's priceless. That last sentence sounded so cliche, as though it came straight out of a sappy love song but DAMN, those love songs are starting to make sense and those chick flicks are starting to get to me and every time I see a couple walk past me I take a second glance because I feel that same connection as well. But alas, how can I still look on mesmerized with love and adoration by this guy that snores ever so soundly in his sleep, curled up in a ball, one leg hanging off the side of the bed while the rest of his body is slowly radiating a mixture of sweat and the aroma of a faint smell of bengay from under the sheets? Yes, I know what you're thinking... I don't get it either. :]

Luann