I'm sitting at the library at CSUF, 4th floor, relieved that I finally finished a paper for class tonight. I say this a lot, but I hate being on campus sometimes because I'm not a student here...yet. It's kind of similar to opening a Christmas present before Christmas, like spoiling the surprise before you can enjoy it when you're...supposed to enjoy it. I hope that makes sense, because I don't even know what I'm trying to say. I feel so groggy lately. My days consist of sleeping, eating, studying, boyfriend/Taus. And then repeat. It has its pros and cons, I have all the time in the world to study and be ahead in my classes, but I'm still broke. I get depressed all over again whenever I think about my financial struggle that I keep pushing under a rug. I fear that it'll topple over one day and I'll be so deep in a hole that I won't be able to dig myself out. Or maybe I'm already so deep that I don't know it because I neglect that problem. It's difficult to keep me happy now a days, I'll be happy for a certain amount of time and then it's right back to being depressed. I'm pretty good at concealing it though I'd like to think... except not so much anymore because I just exposed myself right now. I'm so many different emotions all at the same time that I'm starting to think that I'm not ME anymore... I don't know.
My 3 month anniversary with my boyfriend is this Sunday. I'm extremely happy to have someone wonderful like him in my life. =) Then I have a Tau-filled weekend as well.
Looking forward to happier days.
Luann
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment